Welcome, and a little about my journey here.......

Discuss the triumph or heartache of not having more children, and the struggle to make that decision.

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Welcome, and a little about my journey here.......

Postby HGx3 » Jun 29, 2005 1:50 am

The decision to limit family size, is a personal journey for each one of us........and a hard one at that.
The problem is, we dont know how to interperete the emotions we have on the subject. I would like to share my personal experience on this. I hope it will offer a little comfort and maybe some insight on the matter.

After my second hg pregnancy, I didnt know if I wanted to be done, but that actually was not true. I didnt know if I wanted to face HG again.

In my heart, deep down inside, I knew my family wasnt complete. I pondered and pondered trying to concieve, when finally, God made the decision for me. What a relief, that I didnt have to go back and forth with all of the what if's of another pregnancy!

My third hg pregnancy, was by far, my worst. The hg started early and did not let up until 2 days pp. After giving birth, I KNEW I WAS DONE. NO QUESTIONS! I knew I could NEVER face hg again, nor could I put my family through it!

I had all kinds of health related issues as a result of my hg. I know that my body would not handle another hg pregnancy. I think sometimes you probably do want the option of more biologcal children, but you are right to consider what another pregnacy would do to you, in terms of your own health.

If you think that it could potentially take you away from the child/children you have already worked so hard to have, then you really have to weigh out whether or not it is truly worth the *RISK*.

It is so hard to make it final, but if you know that it is the best thing for you and your family, you wont have any regrets about it.
I know that we dont!

I wish you comfort and peace of mind as you face making a decision on prevention options.
Last edited by HGx3 on Jun 29, 2005 2:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Huge Hugs,
Lisa
HG Mom to:
Matthew, 2001
Lauryn, 2002
Joshua,2004

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Postby mandy » Jun 29, 2005 5:29 am

Hi Lisa,

Am I allowed to respond to a 'sticky' ????

I can't sit comfortably with this:

'The decision to limit family size, is a personal journey for each one of us........and a hard one at that. The truth of the matter is, I think you truly know in your heart if you are done or not.'

Been thinking about it for three years. Thinking so much that not only my heart aches, but my head aches now too! I reckon I'll go to my grave unresolved with this one. In my heart I am done for the sake of my dh and children. And, for me - for my health etc. But in my heart I am also not done, I am two children short of my dream! If I accidently got pregnant now, I would feel it was meant to be. I am not brave enough though, to actively try for another. Stupid eh?

I hate hg :cry:

Mandy x
mother of two
hg from wk 6 - daughter born in 1999
hg from wk 5 - son born in 2002
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Postby HGx3 » Jun 29, 2005 2:24 pm

Mandy,

Not stupid at all...and a very good point!!! Thank you sharing your perspective. I will remove that statement. This was my main dilemma, and experience, and I suspect, yours as well:

After my second hg pregnancy, I didnt know if I wanted to be done, but that actually was not true. I didnt know if I wanted to face HG again.


Our surprise was a blessing, so I know what you mean. Of course, after him, Dh got snipped, lol :oops: !!!!
Huge Hugs,
Lisa
HG Mom to:
Matthew, 2001
Lauryn, 2002
Joshua,2004

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HGx3
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Posts: 1485
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Location: Jackson, MS

Postby mandy » Jun 29, 2005 2:46 pm

Lisa,

I agree with your statement. Don't ever wanna face hg again that I can be sure of! I'm feeling really sad at the moment (probably monthly hormones and too many friends having babies). I feel my time has passed as I would have wanted my children close together so unless fate gives me a surprise twin pregnancy........................... :wink: ! I'm definately done but so sad about it. I hope I feel better one day but one thing is definate - this amazing site has helped me heal loads from my hg experiences and hopefully will do the same in this area of my life. Things have certainly improved from 18 months ago anyway, when I was very angry and frustrated.

Thank you to all the moderators for the constant support to all of us in different places in our lives.

Mandy x
mother of two
hg from wk 6 - daughter born in 1999
hg from wk 5 - son born in 2002
mandy
HG Diva
 
Posts: 2397
Joined: May 29, 2004 11:13 am
Location: south west england

done

Postby taylorsmama » Mar 23, 2007 8:16 am

i terminated a pregnancy at 11 weeks due to hg . i was literally dying but it was still a horrible choice to have to make.
i sufferd from hydronephrosis as well which also recurs. i decided to have a tubal ligation and then had a hysterectomy and later had the ovaries and tubes removed due to endometriosis.
i have always accepted the loss and have always felt i made the right choice but it is still very hard to deal.
the guilt form terminating ate away at me for the past 4-5 years.i am finally grieving the loss now.
i think it was just to much to process at the time, especailly with all the surgeries.
it is a very personal decision to make.
ive been through a lot so if anyone has any questions, ask away.
menopausal at 30
jennifer
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Always something to think about.

Postby ashleyk » Aug 12, 2008 4:38 pm

I am just not content with HG making my choices for me. Although I had a change of heart when one of my students came to me with a problem. She has tried everything and just can not get pregnant (almost ten years of trying). She was very dishearted and I didn't know what to say besides I was sorry. Here I was complaining in my head that I have to deal with HG and almost dying and here she was willing to do anything to conceive. My point is life isn't a fairytale (not that you think that), even those who seem to have a wonderful life are or will at some point hate something about it. We just have to work on being happy and content with the life we are given. I was given HG, and my fairytale was crushed, until I realized I am not out of choices. I have a wonderful girl and family, and although I want more....I still can, by being a mother to those around me in need of one, by fostering a child, by even having another one (I might be able to make it through one more). Family doesn't end at HG.
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Re:

Postby ingrid5699 » Dec 14, 2012 5:24 am

mandy wrote: I am two children short of my dream! If I accidently got pregnant now, I would feel it was meant to be.



Mandy x


That will be me after this pregnancy. I'm at least one child short of what we had planned our family size to be but this will definitely be the last time we pursued that dream. I guess I have the 'advantage' of knowing conception is super unlikely-all my kids/pregnancies have been IVF babies. (LOL yeah that makes me all kinds of insane with the HG on top :P ) But there won't be any permanent things here and we won't actively prevent either. After 15 years of actively trying and no pregnancy I feel safe enough and if God really has a sense of black humor and lets me get pregnant naturally without trying we will deal.
Ingrid, Mommy to Patrick 12/05/06 (HG week 6-birth, managed without Zofran) and Aurelia 12/22/2008 (HG week 8-birth, Zofran=awesome!) and angel babies 11'04 (HG week5-9), NVP with loss 2'12, another hyperemesis pregnancy due May 30th 2013 (HG week 5 and counting, -7% of body weight so far)
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